Carnal Curiosity

I haven’t gotten laid in so long I think my virginity has grown back! Is it still the same procedure, IN->OUT->REPEAT? Or has it been changed through genetic manipulation and technology? Like, earlier this week, someone said he was going to fuck me up! After I inquired as to how that’s done, and took out my notebook and digital voice recorder so as not to miss anything, he turned beat red (must have been embarrassed), then said “Fuck off!” Unfortunately, my friend pulled me away before he was able to tell me how these hip new trends are executed. Can anyone out there tell me? How do you fuck up? Is that something done in a zero gravity environment? Do you have to be an astronaut to do it? How about fuck off? Fuck off what? Is there a platform being used that one can fall from, like a plank, teeter tauter or balance beam maybe? I’m not totally out of the loop, though, as yesterday, I was told numerous times to go fuck myself, and I am familiar with that technique.  I did get offended when another man called me a motherfucker, though, as I have never had sex with his, my, or anyone that I knows mother.  That's just crossing the line...unless its in her ass, then its all good.  Hopefully, someday I will become familiar with these new, hip techniques and be able to use them, maybe even on a woman.