He better not start using "Ass Clown"!

I should file a class action lawsuit against MTV for pain and suffering, emotional distress and attempted manslaughter of a noun. Every time I hear the word "situation" now, I don't think about the current status of an issue, but rather, whenever I hear that word, the image of that Grade A Certified douche from Jersey Shore, drinking Coronas while rubbing tanning lotion on his scrotom, pops into my head.

It's a damn shame, that was such a respectable, professional word. Now I wont be able to use it the rest of my life without dry heaving. Sorrentino may have brought the term "DTF" mainstream, and given pop culture life to the previously military term "grenade", but, in return he brutally murdered a common, easy to spell, multi-definition (though few scrabble points) word.  It wasn't even a fair trade, not by a long shot.  It makes the Louisiana Purchase look like a good deal for the Mexicans. 

Very sorry for your loss, friend

He didn't even have the common courtesy to give it a quick death, either.  Instead, he made it die a slow, painful death.  A death in which its self-esteem, image and reputation gradually declined every sunday for 5 years, to the point where prescriptions for Prozac tripled every time that GTL bitch hit the airwaves.  Mike Sorrentino selfishly took one of Merriam-Websters darlings away from the world forever, and damn him for that!

After reviewing the synonyms, I have decided that, from here on out, I will use the words "deal" or "position" as substitutes.  One word alone cannot replace all Situation has done for the world, which is why I had to add a second  

 Situation is survived by 8 synonyms, 6 antonyms, and 96 foreign cousins.. RIP Situation, you will be missed.