Who's Down with OPP? Da GOP!

Ron Paul is so far ahead of the pack in terms of qualifications, experience and intelligence among the GOP candidates, yet he still gets no respect. Even now, no one gives him a chance. It seems there has been a different Rep. Front-runner every few weeks since the start. But, 3-4 episodes of Jersey Shore later, all of these frontrunners disappear, like clockwork. You can set the Mayan Calendar to this black hole of incompetence. Of the 459734 people who have been projected to lead the Republicans back into the White House in 2012, none of them have been Ron Paul.  Why? Cuz he has the audacity to believe we should still run the country as based on the Constitution and doesn’t follow the other d-bags from his party in terms of stances on issues?

I fucking DESPISE the farce the Republican Party has evolved into, but I would definitely vote Paul in 2012 over Obama. That is, if the Republicans stop chasing pipe dreams and get behind the only person in their party who isn’t a complete joke and actually has a chance to win. Seriously, look at the other clowns who have thrown their dunce caps in the ring for next year: Newt the Skin Flute?; Catcher's Mitt (prolly what he smells like)?; Michelle “Hi, I’m Earth, have we met?” Baaccchhh! Man; Rick "The Possessed Refrigerator" Perry; Sanitarium?; Big Daddy Cain?; Porto-John Huntsman?...These rectal prolapses shouldn’t be elected President of the Hair Club for Men, much less the USA. No one with any common sense, decency or clue has any faith in these clowns.

I’d sooner have Sarah Palin win the Republican candidacy. She's completely useless and has about as many redeeming political qualities as George W. Bush after a brain aneurysm...but she is a cougar. The idea of having a hot Commander-in-Chief might also win her some fence votes or votes of single middle-aged men who want to bone her. Christ, I might vote for her just cuz we haven’t had a president worthy of masturbating to since Millard Fillmore.

If the WoW Calendar came to be,men

everywhere could make love-stains on

clothing to Monica, just like Bill!

Plus, if the country runs out of money to conduct a war, the Government can take a page out of High School Cheerleaders’ playbook and put out a Swimsuit Calendar, consisting of the sexiest females from the Executive Branch, as a way to raise funds so we can continue bombing Brown people. It can be called "Women of the White House", or WOW! Besides Palin, the pictorial would include other Oval Office Divas from years past, like Condoleezza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Monica Lewinsky, "Big Sexy" Janet Reno and the scrumptious and voluptuous Barbara "Babs" Bush- all showing off their bods in their skimpiest 2-pieces. Calendars like this have bought thousands of Cheerleader uniforms over the years, and I’m confident this calendar can buy at least a few “Shock and Awe” Campaigns.

However, Sarah has decided to deprive us of her delicious MILF and Cookies next year, ensuring that, at least for the foreseeable future, the Presidential Debates on C-Span will remain just about ideas to save the nation, rather than a means of masturbation.