Preditate

I am writing to tell you about my best friend, David W. Park, who was tragically killed on March 28, 2010 in Buffalo, NY.  Though he was only 31 years old, he did more for Little League baseball during that time than most of us could do in 131 years. His dedication to both the sport and the children who played it was amazing.  In 2009, Dave was voted Volunteer of the Year for the American Little League in Albany, NY at which he was a coach.  This should show how much he gave to your Organization.  

Dave was a lifetime baseball  nut, and spent the majority of his life consumed in the sport.  If he wasn’t at work, then he was doing something baseball related; watching, playing, researching, coaching or talking about it.  Dave was involved specifically in Little League for almost his entire life.  He started playing in Little League at  the age of 7, then began coaching it when he was around 14 years old; first in Old Forge, NY, then in the city of Albany, NY.  

I haven't discussed Dave's death yet in detail because I still refuse to acknowledge that my best friend is gone.  My denial is evident due to the fact that I have not talked to him spiritually at any length, and I have not prayed to him at night.   Every night, going back many years, I would preditate right before bed.  Preditate is my word.  It's half pray, half meditate.  It’s just like praying, but I can't stand most organized religion, so I renamed it.  It’s also much more spiritual and multi-dimensional than praying.  I don't ask for things; I thank various people for having such a positive effect on my life.  The only thing I ask for is for them to protect me, like a Guardian Angel.  I don't ask to win the lottery, get a Playstation 3 for Christmas, or ask to find true love, or any other thing most people ask for when they pray.  If I truly need something, it will happen.  There are much more important things in one’s life than a video game.  This subject- of how much value most people place on material possessions- is laughable to me.  Since Dave died, I have not done this activity; not once.  That is how I know my heart and soul have not accepted his fate yet. 

When I preditated, I would reach out to deceased loved ones, as well as other people whom I admired.  The spirits that I reached out to included all my relatives that have died during my life, these include:  both sets of Grandparents, my Great Uncle Louie, My Great Aunt Marion, and my Uncle Ricky.  I also “give a shout-out”, per se, to certain celebrities who had a profound impact on my life, either by their work, their spirit/soul, or their tragic death.  A few of these people fit into more than one of these categories.  There are a few other legendary figures throughout history who I talk to as well.  Rounding out my All-Star Guardian Angel Team are 2 individuals that I knew who passed away at a young age.  Their life and untimely death has affected me in many ways, and caused me to become a much more spiritual person.  

The first of these tragic stories is Andrew Hrabsky, who worked with me at Class Action Refund for a few months in early 2007.  We started on the exact same day, so we shared a unique bond.  I still remember the day he died like it was yesterday.  He never showed up for work one day, so our boss called his sister, who was the only one who knew where he lived, to check on him.  A little while later, his sister called back and told my boss that Andrew was dead.  When I was told, I remember never having been so confused, shocked and horrified in my life.  It was so tragic because he was just starting to come out of his shell at work.  We got along great because we both had similar professional backgrounds, were both around the same age, both spent our college years in the bar rather than the library, and were both new to the area. We even sat next to each other at work.  I would help him out every day on learning MS Excel.  When I heard he died, it felt like somebody punched me in the gut.  I finally know what that expression means.

To this day I don't know what he died from.  I would like to think it was a brain aneurysm or some accident, not something bad like a drug overdose or something.  That would just ruin the image I have of him.  It would be like a little kid being told that Santa Claus runs a reindeer fighting ring, or sells his elves in the underground sex trade. I have even researched online trying to find the results of his autopsy but have had no luck.  His cause of death is something that will bug me for the rest of my life.  At his calling hours, I found out that his father had died a few years before, and that had caused Andrew to fall into a years' long depression.  His sister said that getting this new job is the first time he had acted happy in awhile.  His death is the first time someone I knew, that was my age, had died.  This tragedy unquestionably ended the "It can't ever happen to me" naive reasoning ploy that many people use when they hear about death or disasters.  Unfortunately, his death was just the first in what has come to be a string of young people taken from this Earth well before their time.

The other person that I knew whom I embraced at night was Jason Wilhelm.  He was the drummer in my brothers’ band for years.  He died of Cancer a few years ago, after having beaten it once.  He was cancer free for years.  A new tumor appeared, and spread like wildfire through his body.  After months of Chemo, nothing seemed to slow the tumor’s growth down.  When the Doctor told him about the new tumor, even before it began to spread, Jay knew the end was near.  He accepted his fate, and decided to enjoy the rest of his time on this Earth.  He lived his last few months of his life like a dying person should; he enjoyed himself.  He went out and partied like the rock star he was; he spent time hanging out with his friends and family, and didn't let his terminal condition affect his mood.  In a similar situation, most people would spend their last few weeks crying and feeling sorry for themselves.  Not Jay!  He spent his last few weeks of life laughing and having as much fun as he could.  

After his joyful few months, he went back to his doctor, who told him that the tumor had spread to virtually every organ in his body.  He was dead in weeks.  Both my brothers and my sister knew him extremely well.  He was over my parent's house every day for 3-4 years.  He was part of their gang. They all took his death really hard.  Being just out of, or even still in, High School, they were far too young for such a harsh reality check.  Their innocence was taken from them much sooner than it should have been.  To this day my brother Steve won't talk about it.  Jay remains close to everyone's hearts, though.  Every year, my brothers, along with the rest of their close knit group, visit his gravesite on the date of his death to pay tribute and honor him.  

His legacy lives on, even years' later.  His mother wrote and had published a book about his life!  Also, his MySpace and Facebook pages are still maintained by his friends and family.  People use these pages to leave posts saying how much they miss him.  Many even use his message board like he is still alive, leaving him messages about their days or upcoming events in their lives.   They talk to him like he’s still alive.  I preditated to him because I respect the person Jay Wilhelm was, and I greatly admire the bravery he showed throughout his long battle with the disease that took his life.  He is sorely missed by all who knew him.

The other people I preditated for are people that, although I didn't know personally, they have had an enormous impact on my life, for one reason or another.  I respect and admire these people to no end, and am very grateful for all the good they have done in my life.  This list of Extraordinary Gentleman is as diverse as they are great.  Like Dave Park, Andrew and Jay, many of them also died before their time. Many are tragic stories, and that is another reason why I used to pay tribute to them nightly. 

Here they are:

Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Brad Nowell, Lane Staley, Heath Ledger, Owen Hart, Phil Hartman, George Carlin, and Leonardo DaVinci.

If and when I finally accept Dave’s death, I will continue this activity preditating, which I have done on and off for almost 20 years.  As of now,  I haven’t figured out how I want to talk to Dave.  He wasn't just a friend, he was my brother.  I lived with him summers, plus many weekends during the school year.  He has done me so many favors, I would need a high powered, NASA calculator just to add them up...I can't even put into words what he meant to my life...which is why I can't talk about his death yet.  Sorry, I just can't, not yet.