Fuck Columbus Day!

I bounced 3 checks yesterday because I forgot about Columbus Day when I put a deposit into my account Saturday night. I put the money in to cover 3 checks I had written earlier. I figured there was plenty of time. Deposit recorded Monday; checks clear Tuesday. I totally forgot about the senseless day in mid-October that banks take off every year. They don’t process deposits this day, but amazingly, they still process debits. WTF!!! Why the fuck is Columbus Day still celebrated. He didn't do anything. He was like the 8th person to "discover" America.

Every few years it seems historians find yet another person that reached the new world before Columbus. It has actually came out recently that Moses had a vacation home in Cape Cod 4000 years ago. 14 of his 8,000 kids were born here. He baked the first apple pie. It was made out of the leftover apple from the Garden of Eden.

 I can't believe Columbus Day is a National Holiday. Why the fuck is it celebrated at all? That's like celebrating Ron Popeil's Birthday. No- It’s worse!!  At least Popeil discovered something....the Food Dehydrator. Unlike Columbus's farce, the food dehydrator is useful. I mean, seriously, Columbus didn't even know where he was for God's sake. He thought he was in the West Indies. This pisses me off. The country isn't even named after him- it’s named after Amerigo Vespucci. All Columbus got his namesake stapled to was Columbus, OH, a place where incest and bestiality are legal. That's it!!! Fuck Columbus and Fuck Columbus Day!!! Cost me $75!!!