I have worked in many different fields, in many different industries, for many different companies, both large and small. One thing I have never done, which I think would be a very interesting job, would be to be a cashier at Wal-Mart. I bet they see the most fucked-up, frumpy, inbred group of rejects this side of the Clampett's.Getting high, then going to people watch at Wal-Mart in the middle of night is quality entertainment, let me tell you. It's better than any Broadway Show I've ever seen! The people you see at 3 AM in Wal-Mart are similar to the people you see on the TV show Cops, always wearing their sibling's hand-me-downs...from 1978. I have yet to see someone that doesn't have a ripped article of clothing, or has a full set of teeth. These people are shopping at 3 AM cuz they are too embarrassed to shop during the day, when people are awake. They sleep during the day and come out at night, just like a Vampire. If you haven't went people watching your local Wal-Mart you are truly missing out! Grab a blunt and head on down! You won't be disappointed.If you think I am exaggerating, check out www.peopleofwalmart.com (I think that's the correct URL).
This whole website is dedicated to these people. It consists of nothing but pictures of interesting characters that are photographed while shopping at Wally World. Besides the interesting people, imagine all the random shit customers would buy. You can buy everything at Wal-Mart. Its one-stop shopping. Someone can come in and buy two watermelons, a rectal thermometer and some motor oil of the 10w-30 variety if they wanted. Someone else can purchase a snorkel, two pounds of head-cheese, tampons and shotgun shells. Maybe yet another person wants an electric toothbrush, Magnum Condoms, a 16 pound turkey...and a video camera. Imagine all the cool shit you could do with that stuff! In another blog, I talk about what Wal-Mart's next big product line will be. It is discussed in the blog entitled Another Actual Conversation I Had. Keep this information on the DL though, as its insider information.
I think about death a lot...and how we are running out of land to bury people in. as it is, some people are double stacked on top of one another in cemeteries. So, if you think about it, Abe Lincoln could actually be 69-ing Kurt Cobaine, if their coffins happen to be on top of one another. Now THAT’S a sight. When I die, I don’t wanna be buried, or cremated. I wanna be stuffed by a taxidermist! So I can live eternally, striking a cool guy pose, in my aunt's living room. Maybe put a bottle opener on my crotch.
This whole website is dedicated to these people. It consists of nothing but pictures of interesting characters that are photographed while shopping at Wally World. Besides the interesting people, imagine all the random shit customers would buy. You can buy everything at Wal-Mart. Its one-stop shopping. Someone can come in and buy two watermelons, a rectal thermometer and some motor oil of the 10w-30 variety if they wanted. Someone else can purchase a snorkel, two pounds of head-cheese, tampons and shotgun shells. Maybe yet another person wants an electric toothbrush, Magnum Condoms, a 16 pound turkey...and a video camera. Imagine all the cool shit you could do with that stuff! In another blog, I talk about what Wal-Mart's next big product line will be. It is discussed in the blog entitled Another Actual Conversation I Had. Keep this information on the DL though, as its insider information.
I think about death a lot...and how we are running out of land to bury people in. as it is, some people are double stacked on top of one another in cemeteries. So, if you think about it, Abe Lincoln could actually be 69-ing Kurt Cobaine, if their coffins happen to be on top of one another. Now THAT’S a sight. When I die, I don’t wanna be buried, or cremated. I wanna be stuffed by a taxidermist! So I can live eternally, striking a cool guy pose, in my aunt's living room. Maybe put a bottle opener on my crotch.
Check out my other posts about the most profitable company in the world.
A GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED RANT- Self-explanatory
AS IF THERE ALREADY WASN'T ENOUGH TO DO- List of things to do in Wal-Mart in case you find yourelf bored and want to make enemies.
ANOTHER ACTUAL CONVERSATION I HAD- A twisted conversation about one of the few things Wal-Mart doesn't sell yet
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