Are you listening, General Mills?

Drugs are everywhere, it's easier for me to find a bag of weed than it is for me to buy a gallon of milk. One time I went into my parent’s garage because that's where my brother and all his friends hang out.

I was looking to score some dope, and I knew he would definitely know where to get it. I opened the garage door, and there were at least 15 people in there. They were all smoking blunts. I asked out loud if anyone had any pot to sell. I swear to God at least 9 people held up bags of week for me. It was ridiculous! They were all dealers. Basically, my parent’s house was a place that drug dealers went to relax and unwind at the end of a hard days' work.

You ever sucked dick for a bowl of cereal before?

The Captain gets that killa Carribean bud!

Anyway, after I scored my bag, I went inside to make myself some cereal. After I poured the bowl I discovered there was no milk. I had spent all my money on pot, and my parents were asleep, so I was shit out of luck. I put the cereal back in the box and then just got high. After smoking, my mind started wandering. I got to thinking about what would happen if they had drug influenced breakfast cereals. I got to thinking about what cool names they would have, like Coke-O's, or opium flakes, which taste great with slices of mushroom spores on top. Maybe have Special K....sprinkled with Special K. Crack Crispies would simply be crackilicious!! Maybe even have Morph-O’s, and, my personal favorite, O-C Charms. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so why not get the day off on the right foot.