...Except for the Golden Girls, They Rock!!

I fucking hate old people!! I just wanna get that off my chest!  Their all wrinkly and shit, always telling you about Double-You Double-You Two...and how when they were young, a gallon of gas only cost a nickel!   They like to rub it in our face. If they’re so fucking smart, why didn’t they buy a shitload of it, and hoard it so we all don’t have to pay $16 a gallon now?  They fucking piss me off!

The only thing good about old people....is that they will be dead soon! They are always telling me "You shouldn’t talk to your mother that way! I'd wash your mouth out with soap!" "Fuck off, gramma!" I say, "Tell your no good bitch daughter to stop folding my socks wrong when she does my laundry!” I'm kidding, of course. I told my grampa that, not my gramma.  Why are old people allowed on the road? They’re always going 25 in the left lane with their directional on for 50 miles. they should all be forceably moved to Florida, like at gunpoint! Florida is Heaven's waiting room anyway. Old people move there, take a number, just like at the deli.  They then proceed to play shuffleboard and gin rummy until their number is called. That's how life is. Leave the cool states to young people. You had a good run, got the country through the Civil War and the Great Depression, but you're truly out of your mind now, so it’s either a mental hospital or the Sunshine State. Don't make me take away your chewing privileges!!

Note: The opinions in this blog are not necessarily the opinions of Rob Anderson. This is his brain speaking...he was on a roll so I just let him do his thing. in real life, Rob adores old people...he thinks everyone should have one in their house, locked in their basement. he loves taking it out for walks with a leash, and waiting for it to pee. they are easy to care for too, all they eat is mashed peas and applesauce! If you wish to adopt an old geyser, please send your request, including your name, address, occupation, income, and, if you’re a girl, breast size and if you swallow....to:

Adopt-A-Geyser


443 Flatline Road


Death Valley, CA 90479

* Tell them Rob sent you, you’ll get a free week’s worth of diapers for them.... they shit everywhere!