Angry Rant!

OK, fasten your seatbelts- this ones gonna be a bumpy ride. My brother is a fucking retard. He leaves the goddamn TV on every night when he sleeps on the couch. I guess he never heard of the sleep button. This is the same kid that confronted me once about leaving the TV on, the plasma goes bad...I guess it doesn’t apply to Prince Steven, who gets whatever he wants cuz he whines like a bitch and has never worked for anything in his life. He has a habit of leaving the top to MY mustang down at night. Of course, it rains, and the leather gets all fucked up. He’s done that like 6 times. He always leaves a fucking mess everywhere, doesn’t believe in cleaning it up. He gave up housework for lent....in 1998. Tonight for instance, he took it upon himself to cook a 4 egg omelets at 1 in the morning. Apparently he didn’t think anyone wanted the other eggs, cuz he left them out. If I didn’t wake up at 2:30 to make myself a sloppy Joe they would have went bad....on a side note, why am I making myself a sloppy Joe at 2:30 in the morning, I'm trying to lose weight. Jesus, I had a fucking rice cake for dinner, and was doing so well. Then when midnight hits, BAM! It’s on!! It’s like some twisted eating disorder Cinderella story, except instead of a slipper, I have to squeeze into a size 32. I’ll take things that haven’t happened since High School for $200 Alex.

Back to Steve, he loves to leave his shoes all over the house. It’s like he consciously thinks where they can trip someone the easiest, and leaves them there. I no longer pick them up and put them by the door...I throw them in the garbage. He also thinks 2 AM is prime time to play drums in his room...He has no fucking door. I love this, let me tell you. Doesn’t matter what time, whose home, what we’re doing, he’s his own personal metal band. Not even his fucking drum set. What I hate most about him is that he is so fucking lazy. He got a 1.2 his first semester at MV. No, that’s not a type-o. A one armed retarded monkey with a brain tumor could get at least a 2.0 at MV. I’m no genius either, but at least I graduated on time with a double major from a very good school. I mean, I got a 2.6, but D is for degree, right. On a side note, where the hell did that $120,000 education get me? I barely have a job, I live with my parents, and I have to sell organs for drinking money, so maybe he’s onto something.

I do have goals, but I lack motivation. Me and Richy are gonna make a TV show, like Wayne’s World meets the Chris Farley show, and send it in to TV producers. It’s not like I’m that old. Drew Carey was 37 when he made it, and George Carlin was in his 30s. I need to go to the doctor. I haven’t had a checkup in over a year. I probably have 6 fatal diseases. They are all just canceling each other out. I found a cure for cancer...its AIDS. I have the body of a 98-year-old man. All these fucking aches and pains...my liver stopped working in 2001 I think. I actually might sign up for a donation. Figure it’s a 20-year waiting list, if I sign up now mine will be giving out just in time for a new one.

My brother is a dirt bag. When he lived in my room he used to leave used condoms and wrappers all over the room, on the floor, his bed, and my bed, on my fucking keyboard. It was like a fucking Easter egg hunt. Every day I would have to search around for where the condoms were, like some demented porn star Easter egg hunt, except you don’t want the cream from these Cadbury eggs. I don’t care if he reads this; he doesn’t do a goddamn thing...ever. He gets pissed at my mom when she needs to use HER car because he "needs it" to drive 100 yards to his girlfriends house. Every fucking day he asks my dad if we can eat at Delmonico’s. How can he not get sick of it? Christ, if I had to eat pussy every day I would probably get sick of it, depending on what flavor. I like brunettes....but I absolutely LOVE Asians. Ever since my first Asian, sex has not been the same. I’ve had white, black, Mexican, Asian and one psychic, but nothing beats yellow. Unfortunately, only place to find them is in nail salons, Chinese restaurants, massage parlors in Connecticut, the library, and in porn movies.