The Most Interesting Man Alive - Part 1

…is a retard. He moves to Florida last week because of girl problems. His parents fly up to NY from Florida, then he flew back down with them.   He calls me a few days later.  I'm drunk and having a good time.  Needless to say, I don’t want to listen to his drunk ramblings, so I don’t pick up. I check my voicemail the next day to find out he was calling me from somewhere in Ohio. A few hours later he texts me from the Sheboygan County Sheriff’s office.  He says he needs my help.  What the fuck I could do for him from NY I don't know.  I was unemployed and lived with my parents at the time so its not like I could have bailed him out of jail.  My license was suspended and I didn't have a car so it wasn't like I could come pick him up.  Anyway, after I asked where the fuck Sheboygan County was, he texted back that it was .240 miles northeast of Cincinnati. His text goes on to say that he is wrongfully accused of regicide. After looking that big word up, I find out regicide means the killing of a king or queen. 

He leaves me 3 or 4 VM's and about a billion texts, so I call him back to be nice (I really wanted nothing to do with this situation other than for entertainment value- which I am using for your benefit now.  I really don't want to talk to him, I am just calling so I can say I called him back.  Thankfully, itgoes to VM.  Later on, Dino texts me again,, saying he is about to get a full body cavity search.

Although he annoys the hell out of me at times, he is as loyal as they come!

I’m freaking out at this point.  He actually has me concerned, which was the last thing I wanted to happen.  I had my own problems- No job, no license, no car, no money, pending bankruptcy and awaiting trial for a DWI- just to name a few.  Nonetheless, I keep on calling and he won't pick up.  After awhile,. I put the phone down and continue on with my life. A few days later,-on Sunday night, he texts me again.  This time he  says that he is in Reading, PA.  I come to find out that Dino the One-man party  is on the run from the cops because he conspired to harm the Mayor. I don’t know which Mayor he is referring to- the one in Sheboygan, Florida, or Reading, Pa, or a different one entirely.  Knowing him, it could have been Mayor McCheese.  . I call again  and he still won't pick up.  This could all be a joke,  but knowing him, it’s not. He was trying to straighten out his life by moving to Florida, looks like it just got worse.  I'll keep you posted with anymore details.

For the exciting conclusion to this thrill a minute adventure, click HERE.