Get me outta here, I'm a dirtbag!

This fucking area brings out the worst in us all. I don’t care WHERE I go but I need to leave. Either going to buffalo, the 'Cuse, the Apple, Chicago...........or Florida. Those are the five finalists. I just wanna suck it up, bust my ass for like a month or two, then take the money I have and bolt.  My buddy in Buffalo is getting a condo, he wants to room with me.I also have an apartment in ‘Cuse waiting for me. I have at least a dozen or so places to stay in the Apple until I get my feet on the ground. My buddy Marty is in Florida, and he is offering to put me up. Chicago I know nobody except the ex. That is my top choice though. I wanna perform on Second City, where Farley, Murray, Akroyd, Meadows, Chase and countless others got their start. It’s improv comedy like SNL, the shit I used to do in NYC three times a fucking week.

OK, I am officially not a dirtbag anymore...I just got out of shower, I haven’t taken one of those since Friday afternoon....it is now officially Wednesday. Four and a half days. I went to gym three times, ran 6 miles and went swimming four times in between showers. That’s pretty bad. You know its time you bathe when you take your shirt off, and it starts to crawl across the room.

I just realized...I have a HUGE head. Its like size 7 3/4. Even if I lose a lot of weight like I plan on....I will look ridiculous. Ill have this skinny body with a big ass head on top. Ill look like a fucking hammer, except I never get a chance to nail anything (put sexual joke here). Ill constantly be hunched over forward cuz my back wont be able to support my huge melon. Not to mention I have fucking body builder shoulders. If I actually worked my shoulders hard, Id be a fucking monster. It already looks like I’m wearing shoulder pads all the time. I’m shaving my head tomorrow. That’s my summer haircut, I’ve been showing the bald spot and the receding hairline long enough...time to hide it on a cleanly shaven dome. I got enough things riding against me with the women...no money, no good job, live with my parents, etc, etc. At least if they can’t see how bald I am it makes it a little better. Anyway, I’m off to my favorite city, Canada. Going to see Boston beat up on the Jays. Ill be home either Thursday....or Monday, depending on how much fun I am having. Talk to you later kiddies.