Syracuse Sushi Thieves 4 Life!

DripDry and I head home from another night in Armory Square in downtown Syracuse.  Going to Wegman’s at 3 AM and stealing sushi had become a weekend ritual for us.  When we both lived in Utica we used to steal beef jerky from a convenient store near his house at the end of the night; so this activity filled that empty void.  Wegmans was right down the road from our house.  We both grocery shopped there so we were always careful not to get caught, for fear of embarrassment.  This December night in 2008 would change that; and force us both to shop at Price Chopper for the next few months. 

DripDry pulled into Wegman’s parking lot like he had countless times before for the juvenile act which had become our M.O.  We both got out and walked into Wegman’s.  It was 3 AM, so hardly anyone was there- except a dude cleaning the floor.  We both walked over to where the sushi was, which is right near the door.  Drip shoved 2 containers of sushi into his jacket- then walks out.  I grab 2 of my own and start to shove them into my jacket, until I see someone peering over my shoulder, watching me.  I get freaked out, so I act like I am searching for some sushi to buy.  After a few minutes, the dude has not left, and is still staring at me.  I know at this point that he works in Loss Prevention.  I slowly take the sushi out of my jacket and put it back in the cooler.  Apparently, our weeks-long rampage on their late night sushi supply  has caused a stir in the Wegman’s Corporate office, so they decided to have a Loss Prevention guy work the night shift with the specific purpose of catching us.  This is kind of a waste in my eyes, as the sushi we were stealing was thrown out first thing in the morning anyway.

I walk into the parking lot, ready to get into the car and drive off.  To my shock, Drip’s car is not there.  He had peeled away.   I guess when he stole his sushi, another Loss Prevention guy had followed him out of the store and started chasing him in the parking lot.  Drip jumped in his car and drove off, just as the LP guy shoved his arm in Drip’s window to try and stop him.  Drip peeled away and left me in a panic.  I was still in the store at this time.  As he was driving, Drip shoved all the sushi into his mouth, you know, to destroy the evidence.  He pulled out of the parking lot and drove down the street, pulled onto a side street and then frantically tried to call me to tell me to “Abort mission!” 

When I got out and didn’t see DD, I started freaking out.  He finally got through to me and I picked up my phone.  He told me what happened- then told me to look around for any cops.  Not seeing any, I told him coast was clear.  He said he would pick me up in the parking lot of a McDonalds; which was a few hundred yards away.  It was absolutely freezing out, so the walk there felt like it took hours.   Once I got to McDonalds, I still didn’t see Drip, so I decided to get some food.  Our sushi heist was foiled so I never got a chance to eat.  The lobby was closed so I walked through the drive-thru window, pretending like I was driving an invisible car.  I got up to the window and placed my order.  While I was waiting for it to get filled, a cop car pulled up alongside me.  I pretended not to see it… then I pretended not to hear the cop trying to get my attention.  Finally, I turned around to address the cops.  They told me they were onto our little heist and asked me how I was getting home, being that my friend had abandoned me.  I told them I would walk.  They told me to get in the car.  It was then that another squad car pulled up for backup.  “These Liverpool cops don’t fuck around”, I thought.  I resisted their request, saying I didn’t want a ride.  This exchange went back and forth; until they told me to get in the car or I would be arrested!  The McDonalds drive-thru lady insisted I get into the car.  I finally consented and walked over to the cops.  They searched me, finding 3 containers of soy sauce that I forgot to ditch.  This was hard evidence as to our intent.  One of the cops commented on the soy sauce going really good with sushi, trying to bust my balls.  I just nodded, then got in the car, and started pigging out on my McDonalds- spilling fries all over the place.  The cops told me Wegman’s had called them.

They ended up giving me a ride home in the back seat of the squad car.  I was obviously drunk, getting catsup all over me as I ate.  On the way home they told me they didn’t care about the sushi.  They actually seemed kind of amused by it.  When we got to my place there was no sign of DD’s car.   I thanked them, then went inside to wait for DripDry and finish my meal.  About fifteen minutes later I am on the porch, smoking a cigarette when I see Him walking up to the house from a side street.  He said he was freaked out and was afraid to park in the driveway, so he parked down the street and walked.  We both went inside and exchanged stories of our crazy, bizarre adventure.  I guess we learned our lesson, because we never stole from Wegman’s again.