Pool Party!

The setting:   Summer of 1999, in Angola, NY. My pledge brother Cookie was getting married. I actually almost didn’t come to this wedding because it happened to fall on the same weekend as Woodstock ’99- which was going on right near my hometown, in Verona, NY. You remember Woodstock, don’t you? It was the concert with the fires and the riots?   Yeah, that must have been a Hell of a party! Well, I didn’t go, and I can honestly say that I had a better time at the wedding than I ever would have at the concert.  

In terms of the wedding, it didn’t start out promising.  I remember the ceremony being really long.  I felt bad for all the groomsmen because their tuxes were made out of wool.  I would have passed out if I were up there. Anyway, after the ceremony finally ended we went to a huge reception hall to start the party. Everyone hung out and partied like we were still carefree college kids. More than a few of us ended the night half-undressed, wearing ties around our heads;  we weren’t afraid to make asses of ourselves, as being respectable citizens was not  something we were worried about yet. 

 This wedding was memorable for me, in that it was the first time I did my famed dolphin dance move at the reception. It’s like the worm, but with way more convulsing. This dance move made me famous in college, and, starting this night, became a staple in my wedding reception dance arsenal. I must have did this move at least 10 weddings, probably more.

There were like 30 of my fraternity brothers at the wedding. We all piled into that tiny town like a tornado. We left a trail of carnage in our wake. I still don’t think it has recovered.

As fun as the reception was, the real party occurred afterwards.  The party was at the groom’s wife’s parents’ house. It was a total night of debauchery. A good portion of the guests at the wedding came back to this house to continue partying, and also to crash. Most of us were still in school and didn’t have money for a hotel. So, whether the bride or groom’s parents liked it or not, we were staying there. They definitely saved a ton of people from crashing in bathtubs, sinks and other random places.

The random wildness of the night started on the way to bride’s parents’ from the reception. Three guys, me included, didn’t have a ride, so we rode the 20-minute trip laying down in the cab of Z’s truck, with the tarp over us. We were 3 grown men, scrunched together in the back of a truck, getting bounced around all over the place as the truck went 80 mph on the Interstate. It certainly didn’t help that Z had tools in the back of his truck. They kept banging against us, causing much pain and discomfort. The most random thing was that we were doing bumps of Special K in the back of the truck-- while it was doing 75 mph. Two of us had done K before, but the third guy had never tried it. He had never tried any drug; not even weed. For some reason, he thought lying down in the back of a truck, with hammers and wrenches banging against him every 20 seconds, w as the right time to try Special K for the first time. I knew we were in for a great night when I saw that.

 Somehow we got to the house unscathed.  We immediately started partying. As the night wore on, we all got drunker…and drunker. At some point a bunch of us got hungry. Since nobody was sober enough to drive, we did the next best thing- which was break down the neighbors fence and start barbecuing on their grill. After our bellies were full, we decided, as a group, that we should commandeer the neighbors’ pool.

Initially it was only gonna be a few of us swimming, but then more and more people kept piling in. There had to be 15 of us in there, and it wasn’t a big pool!  We’re not talking about an Olympic-sized In-ground pool; but rather a tiny above ground pool that is probably only supposed to have 4 or 5 people in it.

After playing nice for a bit, all Hell broke loose in the pool.  By Hell breaking loose, I mean everyone started ripping their clothes off. An innocent late night swim quickly turned into a drunken orgy of wildness.

Looking back, it was actually very gay, as there were a dozen guys and only 3 or 4 girls. PCP- a 300 pound Italian. was doing naked handstands in the middle of the pool. I jumped up on an inner-tube and crammed my ass all the way in the hole. I lay there, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, as the swimmers under me got an up close and personal view of my bare ass. In the center of the pool, two hot ass girls got up on the shoulders of two dudes and had a chicken fight; their tits were bouncing up and down. It was great.  Both the girls were shaved completely down there. Then, someone turned a radio on and everyone started dancing. I swear to God, I can’t make this shit up. The 2 girls who were chicken fighting a few minutes ago started grinding on Z- one on either side of him, making, in essence, a Z Sandwich. They were grinding on him so bad that even I came. One of the girl’s boyfriends got so pissed he jumped in the pool, threw her over his shoulder, and carried her away. Her freshly shaved pussy and sweet ass could be seen against his back as he carried her to his tent. Everyone was drinking, smoking cigarettes, throwing the empty cans and butts all over the yard. In hindsight, I feel kind of bad at what we did to the neighbors’ yard. It was all in good fun, though. I still can’t believe we didn’t wake them up, though.

Eventually, people started going to bed. Z and I were last ones up, as always.  By the time we were ready to crash, there was nowhere left to sleep. We were so drunk and oblivious that we did not care. We ended up sleeping in the cab of his truck- No sleeping bag or anything. The funny part was that Z had a tarp on the cab, and it could only be closed from the outside. Somehow, we got it closed from inside the cab, though. Z shut the gate after we got in, which completely shut us out from the outside world.

When we woke up next morning, we had no way of getting out. We literally had to yell and scream until someone outside heard us and unsnapped the tarp so we could get out. There were 10 people staring at us when we rose from the bed of the truck. They were all laughing their asses off, wondering how the Hell we got in there. I still don’t know. What I do know is that this was one of the best weddings I have ever been too. I still laugh my ass off when I think about our “pool party”.